Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Have a general outline for your life.

    I tend to be a an introvert and one who thinks about things but when it came to my life plan, maybe not so much.  Why do I say this?  Because in my late 40's I now regret that I did not have children.  I thought about it but if  I had a plan in place, maybe my life would have turned out differently. 
       Somehow, I missed out on the fact that some people go to college to get their MRS. degree.  Now I wouldn't recommend that, but it never occurred to me that my college days were the prime opportunity to meet that special someone and settle down to have children.   I should have treated college as the time to get serious and work on those social skills that would get me closer to finding my life mate.  I am fairly shy and socially awkward,  but college would have been the perfect time to reinvent myself and work toward the I want to have children some day plan.
  Instead of working toward children I worked on my career and a career change and while I did this my biological clock ticked away from me.  At one point in my mid- 30's I looked into adoption and though about finding a sperm donor and being a single mom.  I mentioned thinking about being a single mom to my support network "aka: family" and I got an extremely negative response.  My mother was emphatic that she was NOT going to be the defacto babysitter for my child so don't expect any help and told me how terrible it would be to raise a child without a father.  This is ironic considering that my father died when my mother was a few months pregnant with my brother and he turned out to be an upstanding citizen and she can't spend enough time with HIS two children.
     I would tell my younger self to know what she wants with the future and hold that in mind when you make decisions about your day to day life.

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